† Fool In Love

Fuck you and her both. You two are lovers? Come on, this joke has been so damn played out. It’s obvious that you two don’t belong. It doesn’t take much to see that your union is wrong. You love it when she bites your heart and pulls on your string. You love it when she fucks you and inhabits your dreams, but you’re a fool my brother and you know damn well that you’re walking into something that will result in an outcome that you cannot even fathom to imagine.

You’re a fool and I hate it. She said she’s in love. Bitch faked it. Every night you fucked her raw, she fucked you right back. When you lay her down and douse her fires, it is enthusiasm in her movements that she lacks because you may be inside her but inside her mind is someone else, another name that’s giving it to her while you stand there slaving away like an unappreciated motherfucker. She’s a succubus right out of the mythology books and you’re the dumbass guy with no sense of direction. You walked her path and you don’t pay attention.

Fuck you and her both, you give shame to romance. Walking on thin ice in a relationship that’s destined to join the Titanic in icy waters. I can’t wait until the day that you learn your lesson. I can’t wait until you realize the genuineness displayed is nothing more than a beautiful illusion. Keep dreaming, boy. True love is elusive. You think you’re so sly; think you finally caught it? You’re a fool in love with your impending doom, and she’s there to ensure it.

† Miles.

It’s only miles between us. The three thousand miles that ain’t got shit to do with what we have. While fools see this as a threat, as an enemy that seems impossible to vanquish, I slay it with my eyes closed because it can not and will never intimidate me.

Because the laughs from your jokes were genuine and the minutes spent yearning for your voice pays off once the phone rings. The hours that pass by so quickly makes it all worthwhile because although you’re not physically here, my heart manipulates my mind and reassures me that you’re always right by my side. And though holograms of each other are all our eyes can see, I don’t need to see your physical form to really see you. You are, in all honesty, my own definition of perfection.

Only fools see distance as a threat. If you trust what you have, and what you have is genuine, then nothing else matters. Nothing. And when passion becomes more than flames in my dreams and my nightmares of you fading away selfdestructs and gives way, it’ll still be you and I until the end.

It’s only miles between us.

† Visions.

These late nights, when the moon is veiled by the clouds and the stars adorn the otherwise empty sky, I can almost see a reflection of you. As if the sky was some sort of lake, and you’re there. Rippled and distorted, your image is visually frustrating to focus, because you’re always in motion despite the fact that you’re asleep.

I wish I could reach out to you despite the distance that has been placed between us. I want to place myself beside you. I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to dream. For once, reality is what I’d rather wake up to. As long as you’re in my life, I could care less if I’m restless.

I want to be by your side.

† I’m The One

See, that nigga told you that you could do better but I’m here. I’m kissing your lips and I’m embracing that fire that he once had, but he was dumb enough to let you go so let him burn himself alive. Let his guilt eat away at his soul and bury his whole esixtence alive. How fucked up of him to say that you could do better. Baby, I’m here. If he was so in love with your being, wouldn’t that be enough for him to do better?

Let him light up and smoke that kush, let him inject that venom into his bloodstream because tonight I’m making love to you while misery makes a man out of him. Let him drown his insides with patron and corona, let him pass out at midnight with nothing but loneliness on his side. Tonight, I’ll show you that I’m the one. I’ll prove to you that the moonlight shines down for us, the stars radiate for us, the night sky paints a masterpiece for us. As of this moment, he’s being consumed by darkness. As of this moment, he has no hold on you, love. Trust me when I say this.

I’m fucked up when I’m with you. You get me higher than amphetamines. You get me drunk off of your lips and addicted off of your warmth. You are that elusive, illegal drug and your exes are examples of mistakes exemplifying the reasons why you left them in the first place. They desire your inner fire, but they’re nothing but liars that deserve to burn. They yearn for what’s mine, refusing to understand the fact that you’ve left them behind.

I’m the one. I’m the one that won’t fight for you. I’ll fight with you. I’ll fight alongside you and we’ll destroy any enemy that comes after us. I’ll fight until the sun gives out.

I’ll fight for us.

† Limit Break

I want to hear your voice, but sometimes static overtakes it. I want to feel your warmth, but misery, it forbids it. Sometimes I just want to appear by your side, just so I could feel that embrace that I yearn so badly for. They say all is fair in love and war; why then am I aching for what I so rightly deserve? I want that embrace, but it’s no good when the closest thing I could do is to hug the neutrons and electrons. And when I want to hear you whisper, all that comes out is white noise. When I want your touch, your hands, your kiss… I am unable to do so.

I just want to push past the static, and be there for you when you need it. I want to break these limits… these restrictions so coldly placed on those who deserve it lifted.

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so helpless.

† Break In

I open doors and shatter windows. You say you’re vulnerable, so you build structure that withstand even the most heroic attempts to reach your heart. You  employ the assistance of a million men, guarding the core to your soul. I just have to ask: do you hear me knocking? I won’t ask nicely the second time. I’ll break down your defense mechanism and I’ll brave the torturous labyrinth that stands between your heart and I. If I get burned in your magma, if I drown in your deluge, if I am stranded in your merciless desert, then so be it. I’ll rise above even the land of death itself to secure my place in your mind.

I belong in your heart and you know it. You locked the door and you’ve closed the windows, but I know better than to leave myself stranded outside.

I break doors open and shatter windows.

Does anyone else feel hollow? Does anyone of you out there feel so fucking empty and there’s no goddamn explanation that could follow, there’s no prognosis of any sort of sickness yet we feel sick to our stomachs and some cry our hearts out in hopes that their tears will make it all better but it doesn’t? We have an inborn sickness. It’s a fault in our heart’s seemingly perfect design. It’s prone to sadness. We’re infected with grief, and sometimes, it comes without no explanation at all.

So we spend our nights wasted on sighs, our breaths becoming one with the frigid midnight breeze as our mind dwells on what could have been a happily ever after, but our heart knows that they don’t exist. So we exhaust our emotions on sorrow and misery and we smile to fake that we’re not paining. But who are we kidding? We’re all lonely somehow.

Maybe we can be lonely together, you and I.

† Inside

Strip away the hundred dollar outfit you have on and I’ll take in your nudity as a sign that we all don’t need money and materialistic accessories, it’ll all end in the same manner as you take my hand and show me your darkest sins. Imperfections are only skin deep, but watch that fade away as I go deeper and you take me to that place where physical perfection is unneccessary. I’m feeding off of your emotions, letting you have all of me. I don’t need your skin, I don’t need your flawless body, I just need the fire that dwells inside of you. Your internal thirst: I want to quench it.

I want to drown you in what matters versus the superficiality that we all have come to worship. Lust is a sin, but love is just as toxic. So take my hand and take me inside of you. Transcend past the bullshit. Die the most perfect of deaths, as I take my final breath and you exhaust all of my energy. Lie with me in this makeshift fort of sheets and skin. I’ll be forever grateful for showing me what’s within.

† Triumphs&Defeat

Humans are beasts by nature. They don’t live to tell stories of your triumphs. They lurk around, hidden by unholy shadows, watching your every move. The very moment you lose your way, the moment when you set foot in the territory of darkness and you fall down, their hunger worsens. That’s when they come for you. That’s when they glorify your mistakes and point it out for the whole word to see.

Humans love spectacles. They feed on misfortune. Why is it that we rush to see fires even though it doesn’t concern our lives? Why do we wonder about who is in the ambulance? We  love to see others fall from glory. But when the victim is us, we suddenly feel pain.

Truth is, sometimes your victories mean nothing at all. But when it all falls down and you’re at your worst, people will go out of their way to get a second glance. They’ll laugh at your misfortune. They’ll feel better about themselves for a second, and the whole process repeats again.

Humans have an insatiable hunger to seek out defeat in others.

(Source: jhayjhaythejetplane)

“Don’t be silly,” she said, giving me that slight stare of sympathy. “Words can’t kill you.”

She, meaning society itself. She, meaning every fucking person in the world who underestimates the brutal force that can come from spoken flames and written pain. See, some of you just don’t get it. Physical pain heals after a short amount of time. You can stab me, shoot me, slice me, Trust me, I’ll rise again. But words… they’re deadly. Words can transform into the most lethal venom and seep into your bloodstream. You’ll be writhing on the floor, choking on your own blood and foaming at the mouth. Words can forge itself as the single bullet that ends your life. Words can become the demons that pushes you over the ledge. But worst of all, lies formed from words can become truths. 

You all underestimate the power of words. You insult and you bash and you destroy souls with your ink and voice, but you never anticipate the outcome. Words do kill. Words mutilate souls and shatter hearts and leave you gasping for air. It will watch as you close your eyes for the final time and it will listen closely for your final breath.

Are you purposely closing your fucking eyes? Are you purposely shutting out your ability to hear? I can tell by the way you act that you’re fearful of falling. Got your walls up so high that you’re practically impenetrable. Your defenses, they never fail to bottle up your emotions but I’m hoping that I could be the one to change your perspective. I’m hoping that I could rewrite your history of pain and show you what more there is to gain. You’re afraid of love and I understand why… but I gotta ask you this:

Could I be the reason you give it another try?

Fall for me, I’ll catch you. Never let the ground or gravity break you. Your heart is a treasure and I’ll defend it with my life. Fuck the strife, fuck the world’s cruel judgement. As long as you’re mine, it’ll all be worth it. 

(Source: jhayrusalem)

† In Sanity.

Sick is the new sane. Let me sharpen my knife and load the guns long gone from public sight. Assemble the weapons that I thought I’d never have to use. I’ll assault you with all I got, enslave you and use you and abuse you until you beg for forgiveness. I’ll make you think that you’ll be able to get it.

I just want to finish you. I want to make you bleed as you’ve done to me. I just wanted to make love to you, I just wanted to love you. Now look what you’ve done. Now you’re the victim. Now you’re at my mercy.

† Reverse.

In romance movies, the final frame ends with the inevitable kiss, the reunion of two souls that have somehow been forced apart and the ending reinforces the idea that they were meant to be together. They were willed together by fate. That they were made for each other. We shouldn’t believe that that type of love exists, yet this yearning inside us all fools us. We root for them to be together. We watch them grow from strangers to lovers, and when the screen finally fades to black, we exit the theater and face our own reality.

Romance movies lie. We all know that it’s not how the story goes. Play the film in reverse, see the truth for yourself. We all know how it feels to have that happy ending. We all know the feeling of genuine happiness, the warmth, the moments in time where you wish you could keep it still for eternity. Play it in reverse and you’ll see the truth. 

We go from lovers to strangers. We go from love to silence.

That’s reality for you.

† Ether

Fuck the noise, my shit goes static,
infecting the depths of your mind with its senseless ringing.
Get out your gun, aim it at my temple. Go ahead and pull the trigger.
Emerge as the villain to my complex motherfucking story,
radiate with that toxic belligerence and let us battle
until the sun melts into the horizon, until blood dyes the serene ocean waves.
They say I’m too passive, let’s test that. Say I’m too kind, I neglect that
and I equip my words with deadly radiation,
arm my delivery with unavoidable explosions,
slay my competition via swift assassination,
kill all you fake fucks with my merciless faction.
Forgive me, because although you breathed life onto my lips,
I could never be the perfection you dreamed of.
Bruised ever since I saw the first glimpse of sunlight,
shattered by a childhood that ceased to exist,
but you walk back into my life and demand my attention?
Fuck you and your expectations, I’m done walking on broken glass,
I’ll pick up the weapons you left behind and I’ll kill all those that defy me.
Just know that I love you with all my heart,
but you two have become an indirect enemy.
Man, I’m so tired of being so god damn tired.
Eyes heavy with regret because I gave you my all,
and you cut me deep with your words; Excalibur in a modern world.
You tore my soul apart with your unarmed hand; a titan versus a mortal.
I wanted to crush you so bad, but despite your faded presence,
you were so fucking immortal,
and you never died and your memories screamed at me to notice.
I burned the letters and photographs, but your apparition still stayed,
but I’ll exorcise your ghost one of these days
and I’ll bleed my last blood, I swear I’ll die trying.
Lick my pistol, fiend. Swallow the bullets along with this ether,
my weapon unleashed, my deepest demons revealed and I hope to god that you die along with my sins,
I hope to god that you vanish when the curtains are drawn.
I want to see blood paint that canvas,
I want deliverance to a fucking sanctuary because I am tired
of residing in this inferno infested temple,
I am tired of worshipping faith
because these scars will never heal.
Lick my pistol, fiend. Swallow my bullets and down this ether.
There’s no such thing as happily ever after,
just pain, sorrow and the most beautiful of disasters.

I wish I knew more than your name.

You’re exactly the kind of person I know I’d get along with. I respect how you shed the image that you’ve gained in the past and emerged as someone so much stronger. Someone who knows what they want in life. Someone with a purpose and someone with dreams. I love that you still believe in all the values I hold dear, beliefs that so many people have discarded along with their self-respect.

I don’t have much to offer. I’m flawed. I’m not the best looking guy out there. I’m not rich. I’m not that guy that people would be constantly amazed by… but I should have took the chance. I should’ve risked everything just to get to know you more. I don’t have much, but believe me. If I had you, you’d be my number one priority.

Who am I kidding though, right? You can do so much better.

(Source: jhayjhaythejetplane)